Update...

It has been a while since I posted on this. We had a pretty great summer. I did not take any classes this summer. I started a new schedule at work, where I am off every other Friday so that is pretty great. We made it to my home town twice this summer. We also went to Cali to visit J's family. Pretty great summer.

I have a new little friend. She is 5 years old. We are going to try to foster adopt her. I can't wait, and I SO hope it happens. She is such a beautiful little girl and she's very smart. It is something that Jose and I thought long and hard about. Taking a child that is older was not a challenge we thought we would be ready for. So we started spending more time with her and getting to know her. She spends the weekends with us, and it feels pretty natural. That was what helped us to decide. Now we are just waiting for the state to give the final word.

The yearning for our own child has mellowed a lot in me since we decided to take K. She makes me feel like a mom, she tells me that she loves me, and always wants to be near me. She is very independent, and very funny. She is always on my mind. I look forward to teaching her new things. I look forward to seeing the wonder in her eyes when she sees new things. I look forward to her calling me mom. I look forward to the beautiful relationship that her and J will create. It will be challenging, but the rewards will outweigh the challenges. So begins a new chapter in our lives...

My song is on the radio right now....the one about "oh where oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good.....So I could see my baby when I leave this world."

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving to me, well I have to say it has ALWAYS been about the deviled eggs and stuffed celery! As soon as I was old enough, I was put in charge of the deviled eggs. I have mastered them. My entire dinner was wonderful last night. Let me tell you my secret though........I bought a turkey fully cooked from Safeway! Yes, I cheated this year. I have so many projects and quizzes due that I spent the day having quality time with J and working on my homework. I did however make all the side dishes, including rolls. I am not entirely happy with the rolls, not because they didn't turn out, but because I burnt my arm while putting them in the oven! =(

Since I was so excited for dinner to be done, i only got as far as taking a picture of my deviled eggs:


(will post later)


I spent the evening trying to stay awake long enough to get some homework done, but was so full and sleepy that I gave up and fell right to sleep at 10:30. Awww...another holiday gone.

I am woman! but am I broken? =(

It is like a never ending battle. I am on another cycle. Will it never end? What is wrong with me? Why am I being punished? Why is my body betraying me? I feel like a broken woman. So if you haven't guessed it yet, I am not pregnant this cycle. The clomid yet again did not work. If you don't know what clomid is, it makes me release more eggs than usual. D & J plus eight?! =) I am on the last prescription of clomid this month, it is the third month. I hope it works this time. I don't want eight at once, but I really hope for 2. I have always wanted twins, and at this point when I am getting older, and my kids will be with me for at least 18 years, I really want 2 to start. I know if they are twins from the clomid they won't be identical, but twins none the less. It would just be awesome if my babies were not only childs for any amount of time.

Yes, it would be a major challenge, J and I are used to our life of couple hood. We would both have tons of patience though, and we are so ready for it. I am also sick of checking my temperature every morning, nothing like starting the day thinking, I am broken....I think this month will be the last month for that also or I need to get a new thermomoter, this one beeps.

So, cross your fingers and your toes. We really want it to work this cycle. I am trying hard to keep my thoughts happy and to be stress free. I am going to start going to the gym at least twice a week to start. J has a brother coming to visit for a couple of months so that will relieve some of his stress and maybe my house will get finished! Less stress all the way around. Next semester I am taking only online courses. Less stress. I am back at my old job that I know like the back of my hand. Some stress, but less than before. I am going to start to do more fun things starting today. I will make my life happier. It will happen, I will have a baby. I know it will happen. I won't dwell on it, but I know it will happen. =) Go me! Well...of course and J. lol