For the past couple of weeks I have had major motivation to "spring clean". Since I am at the end of a semester at the university it is very hard to sit down and work on my school work when I could be dusting, de-cluttering, or organizing. What does that mean? It means that I am non-stop everyday. I work from 7:30 to 5. Then I go home, cook (clean while i am cooking), and then clean some more. I then get on my computer to work on some homework. Then I get up and clean here and there, then homework again. This goes on until around 10:30 or 11 pm.
Needless to say, I am getting burnt out. I can't seem to stop though. The good news is, this is the last week of this semester, so I will be able to clean like a mad woman, and get it out of my system. =) So, as I sit here writing, knowing that probably nobody reads this, I am cleaning my desk at work- another clean, work, clean, work situation. =) Oh, and did I mention that it is a beautiful sunny day here in little ole' Juneau, AK?! I love it! Makes my gardening hands itch to get into the rich soil....more on that later. ;)
4.28.2009
4.13.2009
I have to be good
Have you ever heard that song "Last Kiss"? It is by Pearl Jam. So in July of 2001 I lost a baby to miscarriage. My little Angel has been on my mind a lot in the past couple of weeks. This is the song that kept running through my head all thru the agonizing days of losing her. Here is a segment from that song:
"Oh, where oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good So I can see my baby when I leave this world."
Really, this segment of the song is the only part that I remembered, and the part of the song that kept running through my head. Now that I look at the full lyrics, it is the only segment of the song that closely matches my loss. Anyhow, I wonder if the reason that I have been thinking about my little Angel so much is because it would have been right around now that my Angel would have been born- 7 years ago.
I wonder if others who have a miscarriage at 3 months pregnant feel the same loss that I do. It still hurts. I wonder too if the sadness would lessen if we had a baby. I don't know. Hopefully some day soon I will know. Recently my husband, J, told me that he feels very sad for the loss of our baby too. It good to know that I am not alone in this.
"Oh, where oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good So I can see my baby when I leave this world."
Really, this segment of the song is the only part that I remembered, and the part of the song that kept running through my head. Now that I look at the full lyrics, it is the only segment of the song that closely matches my loss. Anyhow, I wonder if the reason that I have been thinking about my little Angel so much is because it would have been right around now that my Angel would have been born- 7 years ago.
I wonder if others who have a miscarriage at 3 months pregnant feel the same loss that I do. It still hurts. I wonder too if the sadness would lessen if we had a baby. I don't know. Hopefully some day soon I will know. Recently my husband, J, told me that he feels very sad for the loss of our baby too. It good to know that I am not alone in this.
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