Holidays and cheer...

I have always been very excited about Christmas. Even though when I fill out some survey that asks me my favorite holiday, I can never remember that Christmas is my fav~lol. Well this year was no different. There were no surprises for me, but it was an all in all great Christmas. I ordered a laptop from Costco when they were having a great deal in November, and got it around the 20th of November. At the time J said it would be my anniversary present (November 10th) and I was happy about that, since I wasn't expecting anything. Then once Christmas neared, and I took out my laptop he asked me "how do you like your new laptop?" And I replied "Oh I love it!" He said "Good, so it is like your Christmas present then" Um, yeah.


So Christmas is all about giving, not about receiving. J has always been like this, so I was not too surprised, so I proceeded to do my usual spoiling of Mr J. Growing up he never really had a Christmas, at all, and so now he does and I don't. Wah wah wah. I know. I really didn't think he would actually not get me anything at all. I did get some gifts from other family members. I actually took some time off from work and just stayed home! That was pretty great. I stayed home for one week. It was great, I got SO much done! That was the greatest gift of all this year (besides the laptop).


New years: We are going to our friends house tonight. It is not going to be a blow out party or anything, and if it was, I don't know if I could handle it. It has been so very long since I actually had an exciting New Years. We are going to hang out and watch movies, and have some champagne at midnight. We usually stay there until about 3 in the morning (record time for J). When I told him we would be going there for New Years Eve, he asked me "are you OK with that?" And I was like "Well, it is better than being home in bed (sleeping) at midnight!" I know, I am such a brat, but I am feeling lately how very mundane our life really is, it must be midlife crisis! LOL! I hope not, I am not that old after all.

*later~after the "party"...
OK. I can't really call it a party. There were three couples, and 4 kids. I handed out the Christmas gifts that I wasn't able to give them since they were in Mexico. We had dinner. It was ceviche made with soy (better than it sounds). Then we watched a home video of a party in Mexico, though interesting, not really my cup of tea since I didn't know any of them. I was getting texts from everyone else having a normal celebration all dressed up and counting down. That just made it harder to be sitting there watching the History Channel (I'm not kidding~from 8:30-11:30). Finally at 11:55pm I asked if we could at least watch the count down. We did, and had some champagne that I brought over (I immediately downed 3 glasses and was happy). Then J was ready to go home. It was an ok night all in all. It could have been worse I guess.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving to me, well I have to say it has ALWAYS been about the deviled eggs and stuffed celery! As soon as I was old enough, I was put in charge of the deviled eggs. I have mastered them. My entire dinner was wonderful last night. Let me tell you my secret though........I bought a turkey fully cooked from Safeway! Yes, I cheated this year. I have so many projects and quizzes due that I spent the day having quality time with J and working on my homework. I did however make all the side dishes, including rolls. I am not entirely happy with the rolls, not because they didn't turn out, but because I burnt my arm while putting them in the oven! =(

Since I was so excited for dinner to be done, i only got as far as taking a picture of my deviled eggs:


(will post later)


I spent the evening trying to stay awake long enough to get some homework done, but was so full and sleepy that I gave up and fell right to sleep at 10:30. Awww...another holiday gone.

Amazingly enough, had some time to kill! =)

I copied this from my friend's blog, 32 flavors, it looked like fun so here goes:

1.Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain-three day hike! it was awesome!!
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped -(wanted to, but chickened out and skydived instead!)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea- right before I hiked the mountain =)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child- (so very desperately want to!)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables- every summer! =)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked-hmmm....yah that was a bad idea.....in Seattle, at night, alone!
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort- all my childhood life! =)
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping.....um... yah.....what happens in Nevada...... =)
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset-one of my favorite past times that I can never do in Juneau, AK!!
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors-I am LIVING in the birthplace! lol
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke-had enough drinks to do it =}
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa- lifelong dream.......
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling-I had a blast! J hated it!
52. Kissed in the rain....mmmm...memories
53. Played in the mud-lol! mud pie story, must blog later!
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business-home business- does that count? want to start a Hispanic store here
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching-watched the whales while fishing...
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving-SO much fun!! want to do it again!
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check-was hungry-needed groceries
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar-mmmm....used to make ginger caviar with Kubo yum!
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job-almost! but talked my way back in! =) What can I say, I was just a kid.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle-hated every minute of it- 3 times a week in Phoenix one summer long ago
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book-my childhood dream...
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car- love my 2008 Honda crv
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible-one goal in life that I actually accomplished! =)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one-love and miss you Terry
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit- consigned a truck and got ripped off along with several others here in J-town
98. Owned a cell phone-can't live without my cellphone!
99. Been stung by a bee-once, under my nail! was my fault, I used to catch them in a jar! lol
100. Totally copied a post from someone else's blog to your own

Tag, YOU'RE it!

Fabulously sore!

I have a friend that I chat with every night on my computer while I work on homework. She lives in Sitka. Well, she has come to be one of my very good friends, even though we have never met face to face. She is an awesome person. We were chatting last night, and I asked her "have you gotten on your elliptical yet" (we had talked about it earlier and she was going to get in the habit again). "no, not yet" she replied. I thought, even though we are in completely separate towns, we could still motivate each other, so I said "OK, we are both going to do this tonight, I am going to go get on my treadmill and you get on your elliptical" We figured out our plans, and one, two, three- go! We both went to our respective machines, and burned some calories. Now I haven't gotten on my treadmill in exactly 3 months to the day, and so when I was on it, I was very stiff, and my body was very unwilling. I pushed myself through the first wall, and felt better. OK, I think I could jog, I thought to myself. So I did it. I jogged a quarter mile, and then walked for a while, and then jogged for another quarter mile, then walked it out. I felt so good for doing it! I made a mile and three quarters in 35 minutes. Not my best by any means, but hey it's a start! I am going to keep going, at least 2 times a week. Wednesday night for sure, then probably Friday or Saturday nights. Then during winter break I will go more. I am so motivated to keep doing this, and I think with my friends help, I will.

When I went back to chatting with her we were shopping online, I was looking for an elliptical, and she for a treadmill. I think I settled on an exercise bike for now. I am pretty sure she is going to get the treadmill. We will keep pushing forward in our individual goals as a team even though we are far apart. Yes we can! =) Here is the bicycle that I am thinking about getting:

It is not very expensive at $199 (shipping included) It has an ipod connection and a lot of great features. J said I should order it for my Christmas present! I guess I know what I am getting! lol I am thinking it would be great to have in my living room so that I could ride it while watching my recorded shows. Or when I am doing homework and just need a pick-me-up. Either way, it is going to be great towards my goal of reaching pre-marriage weight, which of course won't happen if I get preggers! But this is something that will help me to get in shape so that I may have a better chance of getting preggers too. =)

I am woman! but am I broken? =(

It is like a never ending battle. I am on another cycle. Will it never end? What is wrong with me? Why am I being punished? Why is my body betraying me? I feel like a broken woman. So if you haven't guessed it yet, I am not pregnant this cycle. The clomid yet again did not work. If you don't know what clomid is, it makes me release more eggs than usual. D & J plus eight?! =) I am on the last prescription of clomid this month, it is the third month. I hope it works this time. I don't want eight at once, but I really hope for 2. I have always wanted twins, and at this point when I am getting older, and my kids will be with me for at least 18 years, I really want 2 to start. I know if they are twins from the clomid they won't be identical, but twins none the less. It would just be awesome if my babies were not only childs for any amount of time.

Yes, it would be a major challenge, J and I are used to our life of couple hood. We would both have tons of patience though, and we are so ready for it. I am also sick of checking my temperature every morning, nothing like starting the day thinking, I am broken....I think this month will be the last month for that also or I need to get a new thermomoter, this one beeps.

So, cross your fingers and your toes. We really want it to work this cycle. I am trying hard to keep my thoughts happy and to be stress free. I am going to start going to the gym at least twice a week to start. J has a brother coming to visit for a couple of months so that will relieve some of his stress and maybe my house will get finished! Less stress all the way around. Next semester I am taking only online courses. Less stress. I am back at my old job that I know like the back of my hand. Some stress, but less than before. I am going to start to do more fun things starting today. I will make my life happier. It will happen, I will have a baby. I know it will happen. I won't dwell on it, but I know it will happen. =) Go me! Well...of course and J. lol

mid-term burn out

Well, here I am. I survived mid-terms. I can't believe there are some students out there that work full time, have young ones at home, AND are taking classes full time! It really amazes me, and they are my idols. Thinking about them just keeps me going. I am working full time, but only taking two classes! That is stressful enough to me. I still have "me" time and "take care of hubby" time (keep house clean and cook). This semester I am taking my first "online" course. Since it is online it keeps me very busy. Consumes a lot of my free time. I am not really loving the teacher either. Next semester I am going to be taking two online courses. Even though I am inspired by those who take on full time jobs and full time courses as well as kids, I am going to have to pass on the insanity. I am thinking that keeping my stress levels mediocre is my best bet for getting pregnant. We'll see how much that helps. I have a busy week with school work. I have 2 projects due and I have to read a chapter and do a quiz. 1 main discussion forum and 2 replies. I have one extra credit project and some Spanish reading and homework. Crazy week, I better get to it! =)

Reminiscing

Sometimes I really miss the good old days. For some reason lately I have been thinking a lot about when I was in high school, or even right after high school. When I was with my old boyfriend. When I could go where I wanted when i wanted. There are a lot of people that I really miss, especially the ones that I know I will not see again. Then there are all the "what if"'s. I love the "I remember when"'s. But sometimes they bring me down. One of my favorite quotes: "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." ~Helen Keller

I guess I need to stop looking at the door that closed, and concentrate on the doors that are opening for me. Wow, it has been a long time of looking back at that closing door. I have been looking to the opening doors for a long time, but once in a while steal quick glances at the closed door. One could always hope. Does this mean I am getting old? My goal, enjoy life to the fullest. Get all I can out of every great situation. Choose my attitude. Plain and simple, have fun. Do what I like to do when I should be doing what I have to do, and don't feel guilty about it. This must have to do with the fact that I am boggled down with school work right now. And there is still no end in site. *sigh*

I have been tagged!

I have been tagged, but have no one else to tag! lol

1. Link to the person who tagged you: http://32flavorsandthensome2.blogspot.com/
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.


OK, here we go. 6 random things about me.



1. Only fresh in my mind because for the 2nd time this season, I had to do it last night. I sleep with warm fuzzy socks on at night. If my feet are cold, I can't sleep. My whole body feels cold. Once I have my warm fuzzy socks on, my whole body warms up, and I sleep like a baby. =) My feet want to cramp when they are cold, and for some reason they are always cold when I first get into bed. Maybe it is those hardwood floors.



2. I keep journals. Not daily, but randomly. I have journals that date back to when I was 11! When I write in them, I try to update from the last time I wrote (sometimes I go for a year or 2 without writing) Sometimes I go back and read- usually when I am alone. Quality me time. =) I don't know if that really is a good thing though because sometimes I wish for the good ole' days. And then I read something horrible that happened, and am glad that I am in the present day.

3. I spent an entire winter (5 months) in Mexico. I wish I could say that it was the best experience in my life, but it really wasn't. I went down there to meet J's family. 5 months was way to long for my first experience. We stayed with his parents. The entire time we were down there, I was on my own. He was either hunting or working on our house. Wow this one is depressing. On to the next! =)

4. I like to draw cartoons. =) Artistry runs in my family. Mostly native art. I haven't taken any classes, though I would love love love to. I have never drawn native art. I like to stick to the fun stuff. When I was extremely bored (everyday) in Mexico, I was drawing every cartoon I could find. Ran out of things and started drawing Chester Cheetah! You know, the ones on Cheetos chips. They actually turned out to be one of my favorites! =) Here are two of them: (will figure out how to move them side by side later)

5. I have been skydiving! My good friend and I went down to Shelton WA and went skydiving. I have pics, but they are not digital. I will try to scan one in later. It was the most amazing thing in my whole life. I would like to say that I would do it again, but at my age, I don't think that I would. This was 10 almost 11 years ago. Now I think too much about all the possible dangers of everything. When I was free falling down to earth it was like floating in the air. I didn't even feel like I was falling. I felt like I was looking at a huge painting, or panaramic photo. Then he pulled the chute, and whammo! Whiplash. I was ready for it- but not, if that makes sense. I was in pain for about a week. But it was SO worth it. =) Aw heck, I would do it again if given the chance! =) Maybe that is why I went on the stratosphere in Vegas 2 years ago. Fun!

6. I like challenges. I like to be busy all the time. If I am idle I go nuts. Sometimes if I can't think of what to do, I will be like a pathetic puppy, staring out my living room window. My husband promptly pulls me up off the couch, and takes me for a drive, or a hike, or to the shooting range. Lately I have been so busy that I haven't had time to sleep, but I thrive on it. Sometimes I think what in the heck am I doing. But truthfully, this is how I want to live. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have something to do every minute of every day. I guess that i why I read books, because when I am sitting idle, then I have something to keep my mind busy. I don't even know how I find time to do these blogs! =) I like it though, one other thing to keep me busy.

Ok, if any of my friends that follow my blog and have created thier own, you are tagged! =)

Blueberry Jelly! Yum!

I went to Hoonah a couple of weekends ago. For those of you who don't know, that is where I grew up. Anyway, while I was there I bought some blueberries (I could have said picked-but honestly-was too lazy to pick). Some ladies over there pick them and sell them. I bought them the night before I came back home. Well, let me tell you, 3 gallon size bags of berries IS a lot! I worked on them for 2 straight days. I had to clean them and soak them. I jarred some of them up, so I could make blueberry waffles or pancakes sometime this winter. I made freezer jam (about as good as it sounds) but really, not so bad. My dad gave me some fresh blueberry juice that he got from boiling his "squished" berries. With that I made blueberry jelly. Which amazingly (not really since I follow recipes to a t!) set to the perfect consistancy. It is really good jam and I don't think it will last very long since I only had enough juice for one batch and 8 jars is not very much when it is something that you really like. Well this has made me want to make more jam. I am contemplating buying a flat of strawberries at Costco and boiling the juice out of them, and making strawberry jelly. Of course this makes me want to make fresh fry bread and loaves of fresh bread. Yum. I think I will make some this weekend. =)

Volleyball last fall

So I have been feeling bad lately about not joining a city league volley ball team this year. I had all the best reasons (excuses) for not doing it. I am taking classes, and I need to concentrate on my studies. I don't have time. I am changing my job, so that is stressful enough. I am trying to have a baby, so I don't want to chance injury. I didn't really use that one, but it was in the back of my mind. Well, now I feel bad. I want to play now. Last year we had so much fun. Here is a photo of our team last year:



Yes, we were the division 3 champions. It was so much fun. Our entire team was from Hoonah, so that made it even more fun. I think we a bit too competitive for a division 3 but that is how our team leader wanted it. If I ever play again, it will be for fun. I want to win, but I don't want it to ruin the fun either. I am pretty sure I made it to every game during the season. At first it about killed me. My arms and legs were so sore! But after a couple of games it got to be pretty fun, and not work. We did a rotation of two people, I was one that was rotated out. I didn't mind too much. Sometimes my mind was so full of information from classes that I couldn't get into the games. That is one of the main reasons that I didn't join, but now I am sad that I didn't. It would have been a great stress reliever. =(

What was I thinking?!

Last spring, in 07, I was working at SOA, and a co-worker was telling me about open enrollment at UAS. I thought, hey cool, I should get out there and sign up for Spanish. Yes, my husband is from Mexico, and no, he is not teaching me Spanish. Why you ask? Well, I couldn't tell you. I could tell you what I think it is, I think it is because he learned English by hearing it and talking on his own. He doesn't know the grammar or the proper translation for a lot of words. Even to this day, I am teaching him the right translation for things. He knows the translation in general, but the exact words he doesn't know. I can understand that~ a lot of what I learned at first was from listening to him and his friends and family speaking in Spanish. I knew what they meant in general (and sometimes I thought they meant something completely different!) but I didn't know the exact translation. Speaking of great English, I am currently listening to Gov. Sarah Palin's debate with Biden. Can she use "also" and "though" more?! Yes, she is my Governor, and no~ I won't be voting for her and McCain.

OK, so I was out at UAS trying to sign up for a class in Spanish, and walked away signed up and enrolled in an AAS Business degree program. Now how I ask you, did that happen? Wow, my head was spinning when I left, and still to this day I don't know how it all happened. But it did. I started with a summer course, I thought: one class, I can handle that. I took Math 055 (yes, I am very bad at math~good thing I work in Payroll huh!?!) OK-Math 055. Wow, it had been 14 years since I was in high school, and whammo! I was right in the middle of all the things I remembered hating (strong term, I know) with all that I am. I was always in the higher levels of English, but only in the regular classes in Math all through school. So here I was, in math class all summer long. UGH! Last time I ever took a summer course. Here is what my life was like last summer: work school homework sleep work school homework sleep work eat homework school work sleep...I mean school homeworksleepworkclasshomeworksleepsleepsleep it was the longest summer of my life that went by very quickly. Did I mention that my frontal lobe (forehead) got tingly sometimes? Some of those problems about killed me! Here is a picture of what my little table looked all summer long:

In the fall of 07 I took Accounting 201, and Spanish 101. Then in the spring semester of 08 I took Accounting 202 and Spanish 102. I then took the summer off, so that I could live a life and keep my sanity. I am currently (fall semester) taking Spanish 201{just a thought-I don't remember why I liked English in high school- this grammar stuff is hard!} in class course and Business 151. I wanted to take a small business course, but would have had to take it in class, thought about how my summer went and sanity won out. Online course=own schedule=sanity. Now that I put it all down on paper (screen) I don't feel like it is so overwhelming. I think I can I think I can I think I can........

Changes, new outlook

One of the major things that I have done recently is to go back to my old job. I was working in a place that I was not happy at. I was not miserable there by any means, but I was not happy. TH was my old job, at TH there was more leniency than SOA(my current new/old job) as far as vacation and family time goes. But there was too much drama, and inconsistencies at TH.

It was so weird coming back to SOA. It kind of felt like an out of body experience. Like I was dreaming. I kept thinking, what am I doing here, and why did I chose to do this. But then I started to work, and it was like riding a bicycle, I didn't forget how to do that job. I think the strangest part was that I was not unhappy at TH, I just was not happy. I had a dream on the Sunday before I was supposed to go back to SOA. It went like this:

"It is early morning, I am driving down the road, and when I am supposed to go straight, I turned left. Next nano second I was at TH. There is another girl in my chair, I think, OK this is weird, but I will keep working. I continue working and around 9:00am I realize that I was in the wrong place. Panic sets in. What an idiot they are going to think I am! I rush towards the door thinking why didn't they tell me that I no longer worked there?"

That is all of it that I remember, it was kind of like the dreams I have once in a while about being back in highschool and not remembering where my locker is, or what the combo is, or where my next class is and panicking. But what does this dream mean? Am I wrong to go back to my old job? Deep down inside, did I really want to stay where I was? I don't know. I am fine, and OK at my new/old job. I don't feel like I did the wrong thing. So here I am, plugging away. =)

Its a start...life...love..and happiness.

So I thought I would give this a try. I am so frustrated with not getting pregnant, and I feel like a broken record talking to my family or my husband. I think maybe, just maybe if I write it down and see it in print, then maybe it will lessen the want, or the constant emptiness I feel. Anyhow, yes~I am struggling to become a mommy.

History, hmmm...let's see. I met my husband in Excursion Inlet (man I miss the good old days there). We were both interested when we first made eye contact. Though he tells me that he noticed me before I noticed him, which I know is true since there were about 30 Mexicans working in the freezer, and it is kind of hard to notice a guy in the middle of all that, all the while he is wearing raingear from head to toe, along with a baseball cap =). Well, he started throwing fish hearts at me~how romantic huh?~ and I would turn to see who did it, and ALL the guys were smirking. My good guy friend was working across from me, and told me who was doing it. That is when the eye flirting started. I miss those fun first looks, although even after 10 years, we still have that spark of a flirtatious look sometimes. Ah love! So, where was I? Oh, so he started talking to me all the time, and we started spending every spare moment together. I was living in Seattle at the time(awww the good old days again...), and decided to move up to Alaska by him. We had our MAJOR ups and downs just like anyone else, but now we are calm and happy and in love, even after all these years.

OK, back on track, we have been trying to have a baby almost since we first met. We kept going to Excursion Inlet, and it was there that I had my miscarriage. I don't know why, and neither did the doctors. They just told me that something was wrong with the baby, and so that is why it happened. To this day, it still makes my heart quiver thinking about our little Angel. That was in 2001. Needless to say, I could never go back to Excursion. Jose did though, for two seasons. I haven't had any pregnancies that I know of since then. But I have high hopes, and a positive attitude. It WILL happen, and soon. (more on that later).

So here we are, busy remodeling our home and taking classes at UAS. Trying to have a baby, and keeping the stress levels low. Living life, moving on and all the while staying in love♥