Its a start...life...love..and happiness.

So I thought I would give this a try. I am so frustrated with not getting pregnant, and I feel like a broken record talking to my family or my husband. I think maybe, just maybe if I write it down and see it in print, then maybe it will lessen the want, or the constant emptiness I feel. Anyhow, yes~I am struggling to become a mommy.

History, hmmm...let's see. I met my husband in Excursion Inlet (man I miss the good old days there). We were both interested when we first made eye contact. Though he tells me that he noticed me before I noticed him, which I know is true since there were about 30 Mexicans working in the freezer, and it is kind of hard to notice a guy in the middle of all that, all the while he is wearing raingear from head to toe, along with a baseball cap =). Well, he started throwing fish hearts at me~how romantic huh?~ and I would turn to see who did it, and ALL the guys were smirking. My good guy friend was working across from me, and told me who was doing it. That is when the eye flirting started. I miss those fun first looks, although even after 10 years, we still have that spark of a flirtatious look sometimes. Ah love! So, where was I? Oh, so he started talking to me all the time, and we started spending every spare moment together. I was living in Seattle at the time(awww the good old days again...), and decided to move up to Alaska by him. We had our MAJOR ups and downs just like anyone else, but now we are calm and happy and in love, even after all these years.

OK, back on track, we have been trying to have a baby almost since we first met. We kept going to Excursion Inlet, and it was there that I had my miscarriage. I don't know why, and neither did the doctors. They just told me that something was wrong with the baby, and so that is why it happened. To this day, it still makes my heart quiver thinking about our little Angel. That was in 2001. Needless to say, I could never go back to Excursion. Jose did though, for two seasons. I haven't had any pregnancies that I know of since then. But I have high hopes, and a positive attitude. It WILL happen, and soon. (more on that later).

So here we are, busy remodeling our home and taking classes at UAS. Trying to have a baby, and keeping the stress levels low. Living life, moving on and all the while staying in love♥